The Way We Were
by eyeshine
Summary: The story of NathanPeyton. How things started and the story of their relationship up until the pilot episode. Rating is for later chapters. Read and Review. I work better with encouragement.
1. Default Chapter

**"The Way We Were"**

Ashlyn

DISCLAIMER -- I own nothing.

Peyton Sawyer was drawing again. She was leaned up against her bed frame, her eyes focused on the pad in front of her, her hand moving furiously. Suddenly she stopped, and held the pad in front of her. She tilted her head, examining her work. She sighed and threw the pad in the air.

"Whoa, beware of flying objects," Brooke Davis said as she entered the room, fully dressed for summer break, although it had just started that day. She put her sunglasses onto her head and smiled. "So, best friend, since the whole broody artsy thing isn't working today, how about we go to the beach?"

Peyton sighed and ran her fingers through her curly hair. "Listen, Brooke, I don't know. I just kind of feel like relaxing today."

Brooke plopped onto the bed beside her. "Listen, Sawyer-girl, I'm not about to take no for the answer. It's the first day of the best summer of our lives. Someday when you're old and wrinkly you will be wishing you spent more time having fun and less time in this room brooding. So get on your suit, we're going to the beach."

Peyton flashed a certain smile, and Brooke knew she'd won her over.

Peyton went into her closet and grabbed her suit and a pair of shorts. There came a certain point that there was just no arguing with Brooke, and she'd reached it. She wondered about Brooke's ulterior motive. She always had one. Brooke wasn't the type of girl who wouldn't go to the beach alone.

It wasn't long before they pulled up to the beach. They laid out their towels and relaxed. It hadn't been five minutes before Brooke sat up and smiled. "Oh my god, finally, hot guys taking notice."

Peyton leaned up and looked at her best friend, then followed her gaze over to the water's edge, where a group of guys from Tree Hill had grouped. They were tossing around a football, though most of them just played basketball, and laughing. A few of the guys had girls sitting on the side, working on their tan, and trying to look sexy, but Brooke's dream-guy of the week was alone.

"Ryan Baker," said Brooke, smiling coyly, "oooh, and who is that with him? Peyton, it's Nathan Scott! How perfect!"

She opened her mouth to yell over to them, but Peyton covered her mouth with her hand. "Brooke!" Peyton sighed, "No, no, and no. I'm not going to throw myself at Nathan just so you can land Ryan."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," replied the brunette as she applied lip-gloss, "first of all, you wouldn't have to throw yourself, don't even joke, Nathan's been after you for weeks. Second of all, I don't need you to land Ryan, but i'm just looking out for your best interests."

Peyton sighed, "Brooke.."

But Brooke was already yelling, "Hey Ryan!"

The blonde-haired junior walked towards her. "Hey sexy," he said, smiling.

"I have a problem," she said sexily.

"I'm sure I can help," he said, arms folded looking down at her.

She tossed him the suntan lotion, and rolled over.

"Ryan!" It was Nathan yelling.

Just as Peyton began to pray he wouldn't walk over towards them, he did.

"Hey man, fine, just leave us during the game." Nathan looked over at Ryan and Brooke and laughed, then looked over at Peyton. "You're looking great."

She had to admit inside that he didn't look bad himself. He used to look like a little boy, but he'd definately grown up. "I'm not sleeping with you Nathan, get over yourself."

She rolled her eyes and leaned back down.

Brooke sat up, and put her hand on Ryan's shoulder, "Hey, we're getting ready to go to the pier. Why don't you two go grab your stuff and meet us there."

She watched as they walked away then leaned over to Peyton. "Okay, you need to chill. Nobody loves you more than me, but lay off the bitchiness, P. Sawyer... give Nathan one chance... for me?"

It was one of those moments again, and Peyton sighed. She was sure it wouldn't be long before Nathan blew his once chance anyway, so she agreed and started rolling up her towel. The two linked arms and started walking towards the pier, and the boys met them and walked alongside.

Peyton watched as Brooke played the game she played often, and Ryan gave her a piggy back towards the pier. They ran off in that direction, and Nathan and Peyton were alone.

"So. Peyton. What kind of music are you into?" Nathan asked, almost as if he didn't have much practice in the dating department, which Peyton later realized he didn't. He never had to date or play the talking game to get what he wanted. But, of course, he couldn't have asked a better question, and he'd later congratulate himself on the move. She told him, and he nodded and smiled and joined in where he could find room.

She had to admit the talk hadn't been that bad, and they reached the pier and sat down, but Brooke and Ryan were nowhere in sight.

"Well, I can guess what they're doing," Peyton said, sighing and sitting down on the edge.

"With those two.. it's obvious." he said kind of laughing as he sat down beside her. "Listen, Peyton. I know you think I'm a jackass, but you should know that i'm not into you just for sex or anything. I'm not really that kind of guy, everybody just thinks that."

She laughed, "You don't have to lie. I've heard stories, Nathan, and the good guy act will only go so far with me," she stopped, "Why me, anyways?" she asked, "I mean... it's not like we have that much in common."

He leaned in close to her, "I think you'd be surprised. In fact, I can be a very surprising guy."

"Really," she said, leaning into him to. Maybe, just this once I can have some fun, she thought. "Like what?"

"Well, this for starters," he said, just before grabbing a hold of her waist and pulling them both into the water.

She laughed and screamed and when the both came up he kissed her and for a minute she was really happy, happier than she'd been in a long time.


	2. Drawing Something Happy

Chapter 2 --

It was basketball season of my freshman year when I first noticed her. She was decked out in her skimpy varsity cheerleading uniform, and I stood with the guys during a break from pratice, admiring them. Most of us were more interested in her best friend, Brooke, but to me she was to normal, to much like all the other girls at our school, something about Peyton was different, perhaps in the way she looked as us all like she was to good for us. I wanted to be part of the select crowd that actually got to see her smile. Of course, I passed it off to the guys as I wanted to take her virginity. It's locker room talk, you have to be tough, especially as a freshman on the team. The guys smiled and wished me luck, and my chasing her became a running joke throughout the season.

Then summer came and so did that day...

Their day at the beach ended with the noise of Brooke's laugh as the pair approached them. Nathan and Peyton were sitting on the pier again, their feet dangling over the water, her hair still soaked from their little adventure. There was something between them now, they could both sense it. It's as if he'd knocked down one of the many walls to her true self, just with a kiss.

She let herself have fun with him. She knew she needed to. Somewhere along the lines her life became all about angst and sadness, and although Brooke was there to cheer her up, she knew she wanted a guy there to. As she smiled at him and they talked, she realized that he was more than she thought he was. Admiration hadn't clouded her view of his asshole side, she remembered the tough guy act he act he played at school, but for once, she began to wonder if there was a deeper part of him. It gave her an odd sense of pride that she could bring it out in him.

Once they were back in the car, Brooke exploded. "Wow, no way, you like him, don't you? I can totally tell. I told you, didn't I."

Peyton just smiled and blushed a bit, "Well... he's not half bad."

Brooke, "So you make a practice of making out with guys that are just 'not half bad'?" Brooke asked teasing, "What, do you think I couldn't tell?"

Peyton sighed, and launched into the details, knowing that Brooke would get them out of her anyways. Brooke was smiling the whole time. "This is going to be perfect," Brooke said, "you guys are going to make the best couple! I feel like such a little match-maker."

They next day Peyton lay stretched out in her bed, listening to music and drawing, inspiriation having found her again. "It's been a long time since I've drawn something happy," she said to herself, almost mocking her own change. Her sketch was of them falling into the water, and she wrote the word 'I'm full of surprises' in her light handwriting. She was proud of the picture, but folded up the sketchbook. She didn't really want anybody to know she was into him, she'd been bad mouthing him and his crush on her for weeks.

She reached over to change the song, and when she looked back up, Nathan was standing in her doorway.

"Wow, I'm sorry," he said, "I rang the doorbell, but I could hear the music.. so I just figured..."

"No, you're fine." she said, "Whats up?"

He laughed, "You mean what the hell are you doing here?"

She smiled lightly, "Well, that to..."

"I'm having a party out at my parents beach house tonight. I know you are this to good for high school drama kinda girl, but I'm willing to make a deal."

"Oh really," she said sexily as she looked at him.

"Yep, you show up, and you can pick the music." He smiled proudly at her, knowing that he'd said exactly the right thing.

"Well, it's a hard offer to resist. Then again, I mean, will there be any cute guys at this party, because you know that's a must," she teased.

"Hey, it's at my house, remember?" he said, cocking his head to the side, playing her game, "Be there at 7. See ya, Peyton."

He walked out and she sat in wonder for a minute. She was half afraid of what she was getting herself into, because she knew he had a reputation. Nevertheless she called Brooke and made plans to meet up at the party.

She sighed and got up to her closet, with a feeling that something big was coming in the pit of her stomach.


	3. Inevitable

Brooke sat on Peyton's bed smiling at her, as the girl furiously flipped through her clothes, looking for the perfect outfit. The brunette girl was smiling to herself, then she broke out laughing.

"What is so funny, huh," Peyton said teasingly.

"Well, usually we would be switched right now, but tonight, you're the boy crazy one."

Peyton sighed, "You know what, I don't have to impress him, right? Right."

She pulled out a shirt and pair of jeans and looked it over, then lost her determination.

"Okay," she said slowly, "Brooke, just this once, you can pick what I wear, this is more your area of expertise anyways."

Brooke drove, and smiled at Peyton, "Don't worry bi-atch, we're fashionably late. Nathan is not going to leave his own party in the first hour."

As they pulled up to the beach house, Peyton just admired it. He was a spoiled jackass, but she knew that there was something more to him, she could just tell. She opened up her door and walked into the beach house.

The moment they walked in girls from school and the cheerleading team flocked to them, asking them about their summer and that sort of thing. Peyton tried to concentrate on the conversation, but she found her eyes searching the beach house for Nathan.

Out on the patio, Tim approached Nathan. "Hey Nate, you're dream girl is here."

Nathan looked up and smiled, "Hey, she's just a chick, all-right? Jealous, Tim?" He playfully punched him on the arm and walked inside, looking for Peyton. He damned himself mentally for the way he talked about her. Some part of him knew that he liked her way more than he let on. It just wouldn't cool for a guy to be whipped when he wasn't even getting laid. As he walked past the keg, a girl in the class above him grabbed his arm, and smiled. Her breath was rank with alcohol as she whispered an invitation to him. He turned her down and directed her Tim's way; the guy could use a piece of ass, and Nathan only had one girl on his mind tonight.

The girls surrounding Peyton looked up excitedly as Nathan approached. Some giggled and put on their best smiles, but others with more sense realized he was coming for Peyton and stared at her, awaiting her reaction. Everybody knew he wanted her, and everybody had thought she would always refuse him.

Peyton smiled lightly as he approached her, and wordlessly followed him out of the house. They were away from the crowd before either said a word.

As they reached the shoreline, Nathan smiled, "So you made it."

"Well, I was told their were hot guys here, so I figured i'd check it out."

"Seen any yet?"

She didn't reply, she kissed him. At first he was shocked, but he enjoyed it. He kissed her back, and they sank to the sand. They finally pulled apart and he smiled wildly.

For a moment he forgot to be cool. "Wow," he said running his hand through her hair.

"Wow is right," she said, smiling at him. "Whoa, are you allowed to just skip out on your own party?"

He looked back up at the lights from the beach house and shrugged his shoulders, "I'm sure they can manage getting wasted without me." He smiled at her, "I have better things to do."

He put his arm around her and she leaned against him. She smiled at him, "So, wow. Should I feel special that "the" Nathan Scott is taking time out from a huge party to talk to me?"

He was slightly hurt by her sarcasm but decided to ignore it. "Should I feel special that "the" Peyton Sawyer showed up?"

She started laughing, and he caught on. For a few minutes they just sat in the sand, laughing and smiling, and when it finally died down the caught their breaths and caught each other's eyes.

It was the first moment that both of them realized this wasn't going to just be a fling. There was something between them. It had to be all or nothing. Nathan was sure he wanted it all. He could pass it off as just sex to the guys, and inside he was sure he could be a good guy with her. Plus, she could be his escape from basketball and his dad.

Peyton was the one so confused. She didn't want to be caught up in some cliche Cheerleader/Basketball Player romance that was more like a soap opera then the life she wanted to live. But something about Nathan was attractive to her, and beyond skin-deep. When they were together, she felt like she was seeing a private part of Nathan that few people knew. Every girl needs to feel like she's something special to a guy.

She shivered, partially because of the skimpy outfit Brooke had got her in, and partially because of the idea of giving up her independence. Nathan looked at her, then put his arms around her, pulling her close to him. She was almost lost in him for a minute there, his body heat making her feel safer than she had in a while. She could have fallen asleep there, despite the music from the party, but a few of the guys had started screaming out to them from the porch, and they knew they had to make their way back in.

Although both of them acted like nothing special had happened, something had changed in those stolen moments at the beach, and they both knew it. Neither of them were completely sure about the other one, neither one was sure they were willing to risk so much, but both of them knew it couldn't be avoided. They were inevitable.


	4. They Just Were

She turned up Dashboard Confessional to the highest volume. Her sketchbook was at the foot of her bed, forgotten. She looked at the phone, as if anticipating something, but then threw it across the room. With a groan, she buried her face in her pillow and cursed herself for the way she had allowed him to infect her mind. She hadn't ever let a guy in like that before, and she hated herself for it. Boys didn't control her like they controlled other girls... or, at least, not till now.

It had only been twenty-four hours, he reasoned. He couldn't call her this quick, he'd risk looking desperate. Plus, Dan had been hard on him. "I let you use my beach house for your party, but you better be able to get in a full day of training today," he'd said as he woke him up before the sun was even out.

Dan had yelled that he wasn't focused. He couldn't even argue, because he wasn't. It had been a long time since something, or someone, rather, had occupied his mind more than basketball. He was strangely proud that he had something in his life to think about that his dad couldn't control. Maybe that was the reason he hadn't called yet.

He couldn't really kid himself, sure, his dad was part of the reason he hadn't called her yet, but he was also more scared than he could let on. He knew that guys like him weren't supposed to be a girl's puppy-dog, following her around the room. It was always supposed to be wham - bam - thank ya ma'am, but Nathan knew he could never be satisfied with just sex. He had to have it all. He reasoned that sex without passion wouldn't be nearly as much fun.

After taking a shower and watching his dad's car leave the house, Nathan finally relaxed on his bed, and picked up the phone. Then he laughed at himself. He hadn't even asked her number. Slowly he let out a sigh, kicking himself for being such a dumbass.

He looked over at the digital bedside clock. He had plenty of time.

She was mad; she was hurt. She turned on the shower as hot as it would go and her music as high as it would go and tried to forget about the stupid Scott boy. She knew that not calling the next day, especially just after a kiss, wasn't grounds for lynching, but she also knew that if he felt what she had felt, he would have called by now. Her reasons for staying away from guys like him were coming back to her. They could make you feel things that weren't real.

She'd used up all the hot water, perhaps for the whole neighborhood by the time she was finished. She wrapped herself in a comfy white towel, shook out her hair and smiled at herself in the mirror. Perhaps a night of music and drawing would do her good.

Those plans were shattered.

As she walked out the bathroom door, she saw Nathan Scott standing in the doorway.

She hadn't expected him to be so embarrassed.

"Wow, I mean, sorry, I didn't know... the music was just so loud."

She laughed, but then stopped herself, remembering that she was mad at him. He was so good at making her forget. "Well, perhaps if you had called before you came over."

He grinned, "I'm glad I didn't."

The grin won her over. "Sure, now you play the hornball. What happened to the stammering, stuttering, blushing, Nathan Scott? Huh?"

He walked towards her, "How about he just be our little secret? Huh?"

She smiled wryly, "Well, I suppose. I mean, what would the world be coming to if everybody knew that you weren't a total sleeze."

His eyes locked on hers, "Thanks... I think. That was a compliment, right?"

She smiled, "You're going to have to get used to this talking in circles thing."

She looked down at herself, realizing that she was still wearing a towel.

"Whoa, let me change." She said, heading towards her closet.

"Personally I like you in this," he said, looking her up and down.

"Oh, and there he is again, sleezeball Scott," she said as she walked towards the bathroom.

He was flipping through her music collection when she re-entered the room, decked out in a T-shirt and jeans, her hair still wet.

"Hmm, you look nice and all, but I still prefer the towel," he said, putting his arms around her waist, bringing her in for a kiss.

The kiss continued, turning more passionate and he moved them towards the bed. His arms moved towards her waist and he ran his hands on her bare skin, their lips never stopping. Finally they pulled apart and he rolled over, so they were both laying on the bed innocently.

She sighed, "Nathan, if you're just in this for sex..."

He cut her off, "Peyton," he said as he turned her face towards his with his hand, "I wasn't lying when I said that wasn't me. Sometimes I get a little caught up in the moment, but it's not about that, not with you."

After that night, they were together. It took no official question, they just were.


	5. Plans

Peyton woke up to the sound of a screechy voice and bouncing on her bed. She turned tiredly to her left to see Brooke laughing.

Peyton hit her with her pillow and groaned, "What? It's early... go home."

Brooke smiled, "Okay, best friend, this is your fault. You spend all your time with Nathan and none of your time with me. Not cool. You're forgetting about me, and I didn't even think that was possible!"

"Brooke, I saw you YESTERDAY."

"Oh shut up. Anyways, I'm guessing that you know all the details about this end of summer beach party at Nathan's, and well, for some reason, I'm clueless, so... fill me in."

Peyton sighed and sat up, "You woke me up to find out about the party? I should kill you."

Brooke, "but you won't, so..."

"Okay, it's... at Nathan's, which you already knew. The beach house... which you already knew. Um, it starts at 11?"

"Nope, midnight. Well, that's when the real party starts," a male voice said and Peyton jumped.

"Nathan," Peyton said, "what are you doing here?"

"At my girlfriend's house?" he laughed, "well, I was going to wake you up with a kiss, but if Brooke already did that then now I'm just pissed that I didn't get to watch."

"Oh shut up. I hope you catch on fire." She laughed, pulling his arm down to her and kissing him.

"Oh God, you two are pathetic-ville, I'm out," Brooke said, leaving.

Nathan laughed and sat down in Brooke's spot on the bed, cuddling up to Peyton.

"So, miss me?"

Peyton groaned and looked over at her alarm clock, "You left like... 6 hours ago, so... no."

He grinned and kissed her, pulling her close, "Sure." He paused and sighed, "So, are you sure about tonight? You know I don't want to push you."

Peyton bit her bottom lip and looked away from him, "Why is it that everybody thinks you're a jerk, Nathan? I mean, if you are, then you're really freakin' good at covering it up. I trust you, you know that."

Nathan looked at her, "So that means..."

"Yeah, I'm sure."

When Peyton pulled up to Nathan's beach house, the party was already in full swing. The music was roaring and a few people were already puking in the sand by the stairs. She avoided them and climbed the familiar steps. She checked her reflection in the window and began to fix her hair, only to recognize a face on the other side.

She laughed to herself, "Hey babe."

He smiled, "You look hot. You don't need a mirror to tell you that."

She laughed and went through the door, joining him.

"So, you want a beer?" he said, putting his arm around her

She didn't get the chance to answer because she was interrupted by a Brooke.

"Hey GIRLFRIEND, looking SEXY!" Brooke said, putting her arm around Peyton.

"Well somebody's trashed," Peyton said, putting her arm around her and beginning to head towards the bathroom.

She smiled to Nathan and whispered, "I'll see you later," and threw in a wink.


	6. Us, Interrupted

The Way We Were

Chapter 6: Us, Interrupted

Peyton let Brooke lean on her as she maneuvered the familiar beach house and softly leaned her on the floor of the master bathroom. Brooke smiled up at her, "This is a KILLER party," she said, before getting sick to her stomach. Peyton pulled back her hair and leaned her over the toilet, sighing. She appreciated alcohol as much as the next girl, but sometimes Brooke just drank way to much.

"Yeah... KILLER," Peyton said.

Peyton wasn't to worried about missing the party. As soon as they could escape, Nathan was going to take her to this romantic spot he'd found. They'd actually had a pretty good discussion about doing the deed. Things kept progressing with them, faster and more heated with every moment they spent together. One night, she'd pulled away, saying, "Not tonight, not like this," so he'd asked permission to plan the perfect night for them.

She'd surprised herself by saying yes. She never thought she'd let things get this far with the antithesis of who she really was. Nathan brought out a side of her she liked better. She wasn't ready to face the darker parts of herself yet.

Brooke looked up at her with a wayward grin on her face. "Time to PAR-TAY" she said giggling, but Peyton only shook her head.

"It looks like you've partied enough," she said.

Peyton snuck out the back door of the beach house and piled her into her car. She drove her home and lay her in her bed.

Brooke's parents didn't even seem to care that their daughter was coming home completely wasted. Peyton shook her head. She didn't like Mr. and Mrs. Davis much. They just threw money at her and thought it took care of their parenting duties. Peyton wanted them to kick her butt and get her in line, but she knew that was never going to happen.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

When Peyton finally got back to the party, it was still going at full steam. Peyton worked her way through the crowd, smiling a polite smile and looking for Nathan. She just wanted to get out of there.

She finally found him, laying on the couch with a beer, and she sighed a deep sigh of relief. He looked up at her with his boyish grin and mouthed "You ready to go?"

All she did was nod, and he was on his feet. He yelled at Tim to try and keep the party under control, and they made a run for his car.

The town seemed to pass by in slow motion as Peyton gazed out of the window's of Nathan's car. Every now and then Nathan would catch her eye and she would see his grin. Sometimes she felt like she was so much older than him. Like he was this young kid ready to enjoy all that there was about this teenage relationship, and she was older, and somewhat wiser, and looking on realizing how she was somewhat above this. But when he grinned at her like that, she let all that roll away and smiled back. She wanted to be the person she was with Nathan so badly. She didn't really want to have all this pain and darkness inside her.

Nathan pulled into a gas station to run in and get the magic token, and Peyton idly started scanning through the radio stations. She couldn't really stand Nathan's rap music, she was hoping to find something more her taste. She finally found a station, coming in a little fuzzy, playing a NOFX song that she adored.

As soon as she did, a truck pulled up, playing the same song. There was something in the air, a sense of brotherhood that came from sharing a song through the airwaves. Peyton turned her head to see who it was, and almost gasped when she realized it was that other Scott boy, Nathan's brother.

For a moment she felt as if she had cheated on Nathan through the music. She realized this was stupid. The kid had probably just accidentally turned to it. However, as he got out of the car, Peyton realized he was staring at her, with a squint and a faint smile. He must have felt it too.

Just then, Nathan came out of the gas station. It only took him a second to see that Lucas was staring at Peyton, and his face contorted into a devilish grin. He threw his shoulder into his brother and pushed him against the wall.

"Back off man," he said, and walked away.

It was the first time Peyton ever saw Nathan's violent side, and it made her a little bit sick to her stomach. When he got into the car, Peyton hit his shoulder, "Nathan, why'd you do that?"

He was a little bit surprised she asked, but answered with a matter-of-fact tone. "Didn't you see him staring at you like that?" He shrugged his shoulder and started the car.

Peyton sighed a little bit, and looked carefully behind her, to see Lucas, still staring.

She shook it off and tried to get back into her positive mood.

"So where are we going?" she asked.

"I told you, it's a surprise," he said, his face changing once again to a grin. He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, "You're going to love it."

When they pulled up to the spot, Peyton couldn't help but take in a sharp breath of excitement. It was an isolated stretch of beautiful beach, with high sand dunes that made it look perfectly romantic.

"My dad bought this land to build a beach house on a long time ago, but we bought the other one and he never did anything with it."

"Nathan, this place is beautiful, " Peyton said, excitedly.

"I thought you would think that," he said. He reached into the backseat of his car and lay out a blanket on the ground, and then pulled out a bottle of wine.

"Wow... you've planned this out," Peyton said, surprised.

"Well... it's special," he said.

The night was perfect. They drowned in each other. They had passion unlike any other. When Peyton was with Nathan, she wanted to bury herself in him,. she wanted to drown in all that he was, and bury the parts of her that she wasn't willing to accept. In those moments, she was able to truly become the girl she wanted to be.

When Nathan was with Peyton, he was finding a greatness he didn't know anywhere else. There was something about her spirit, and the fact that he could call her his that was his drug. He felt like he had truly latched on to something bigger than him.


	7. Morning Laced With You

The Way We Were

Chapter 7: Morning Laced With You

It was past noon when Nathan woke up to the heat of the sun coming in from his window. He groaned and covered his face with a pillow. Then, a smile passed on his face when he realized what had happened the night before. He bit his lip, then reached for the phone.

----

Peyton had been up for a couple hours when the phone rang. She barely heard it over her music, but didn't bother to turn it down when she answered the phone.

"Hello?" She asked impatiently.

"Hey... it's me," his voice said on the other side.

Something about it turned her stomach. She had an overwhelming urge to push him away. "Hey Nathan," she said.

"Something wrong?" he asked, sensing something in her tone.

"No, I'm just kind of busy right now," she said, looking over at her sketchpad. She'd been drawing since she woke up.

"Oh, sorry. You want to do something later?" he asked.

"Well," she said, taking a long pause, "how about we talk about that later?"

He didn't really understand what was going on, but he agreed to call her later and hung up the phone.

On the other end, Peyton put the phone in the receiver and sighed, collapsing into her bed.

She wanted to talk to a voice of reason, somebody who could help her to understand how she was feeling. She knew Brooke would get lost in the excitement of Peyton losing it and be totally unhelpful, and she didn't know anybody else she could talk to about this.

On a sheet of paper she scrawled "If I lose myself in you, how will I find myself again?"

----------------------------------

A couple of hours later Peyton woke up the somebody gently touching her shoulder. When she opened her eyes, she was surprised to see Nathan sitting beside her on her bed.

"Hey," she said, yawning, "how long have you been there?"

"Just a few minutes, " he lied. It'd been ten at least. She looked so happy when she slept.

"Oh," she said, leaning up against her headboard.

He ran his hand across her sketchpad. He wondered if he should bring up what he'd seen on the page.

"Are we okay, Peyton?" He asked, a little worried about her answer.

She breathed in sharply. She looked down at her sketchpad and realized he must have seen the statement she'd written in her mass of confusion.

"I..." she stuttered, "I... Nathan, I've never been this girl before. I'm scared." She didn't know how to explain it. How to say that he brought out a side of her that she wasn't even sure was her at all.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Peyton," he said assuredly. He always seemed so sure.

"It's not..." she trailed off. She knew she couldn't explain these feelings. His smile, the way he looked at her should be enough, she knew. So what if he didn't know about the dark parts of her soul. Maybe this was better for her. Maybe he would help her escape those parts of her.

She smiled at him, and kissed him.

"We're definately okay."

"Good," he grinned, "because i'd hate it if last night was a one-time thing. I don't know if you realized, but we are pretty hot together."

She laughed. He was so good at lightening the intense mood. She hit him with her pillow and they wrestled and she rolled over on top of him.

"Oh yeah?" she asked, grinning, then kissing him.

"Ohhhhh yeah," he repeated, laughing.

At this particular moment Brooke walked into the room.

When she noticed the couple on the bed, she groaned and covered her eyes, "Okay, lovebirds, get off of each other before you overwork my gag reflex."

Nathan and Peyton laughed, but disassembled themselves to sitting beside each other.

Brooke was about to say something, but then she looked between the two back and forth and announced, "Oh, my GOD! You guys did it!"

Peyton bit her lip and Nathan grinned in response, and Brooke had her answer. She practically squealed as she jumped onto the side of the bed and said to Peyton, "Okay, I need details."

She then looked over at Nathan raised an eyebrow, "Yeah, you need to leave. She'll call you later.

Nathan hesitiated for a minute, but Brooke waved him away and he left.

Brooke smiled, "Okay, now, why didn't you call me and spill this as soon as it happened?"

"Well," Peyton said, "I guess I figured you'd still be hungover. Somebody was WAY too drunk last night."

"Yeah," Brooke said, making a face, "Thanks for taking care of me though. Wait -- That was you, right?"

Peyton gave her a look, "No... last I saw you you were making out with Tim and headed off to the back of the house."

Brooke opened her mouth in shock. "No!"

"Nope, but Brooke, you really shouldn't be so drunk that you'd fall for that," Peyton said, sighing.

"Okay, mom," Brooke said, and then demanded all the details.

Peyton begrudgingly filled her in. She had always thought it was silly how girls spilled all the private details of their sex lives at the drop of a hat, but she saw no real way to get out of it with Brooke.

------------------------

Across town Nathan met up with some of the guys to play basketball. It was summer, but that didn't give him any chance to be lazy.

Somehow, however, the game had turned into Nathan proudly announcing that he had indeed got some from Peyton.

He didn't like the guy he was around the guys, but he couldn't help it. They had teased him about not having slept with her yet, and when the asked today, he couldn't restrain himself at all. He found himself sharing all the details with the guys on the team. He shrugged off the immense feeling of guilt that hit him when he did.

------------------------------

Word spread like it does in small towns.

Soon, most of the high school crowd heard that Nathan had finally got Peyton to sleep with him.

Lucas Scott was working at Karen's Cafe when a group of guys he knew from school came in. They were gossiping, but he didn't start listening until he heard them mention Peyton. He'd had a thing for her since he could remember. He didn't know if he was imagining it or not, but he felt sure they had a connection.

Now, she was dating Nathan, and it made him a little bit sick. His half-brother had the girl that he thought was somehow his.

Then, one of the guys mentioned that Nathan and Peyton had slept together. He felt his stomach turn a bit.

-------------------------------------------


	8. Definitions

It's an inevitable truth of life in a small town: word gets out.

Peyton was waiting in line for a muffin at Holden's Bakery when she ran into Theresa. Their only common bond was cheerleading, but Theresa felt familiar enough with Peyton to announce that she'd heard she'd landed Nathan Scott.

"You're first time on the beach? How romantic!" she'd said, and Peyton's mouth had dropped. She couldn't even act cool. She couldn't even respond.

Her breakfast was effectively ruined.

She was still fuming when she pulled into the Scott driveway. She tried to sit in the car and breath for a few seconds before the confrontation she had planned, but when she saw him shooting hoops on his stupid basketball court, she got out of the car, slammed the door, and marched up to him.

"Where they impressed?" she asked, standing several feet away from him with her arms crossed.

He turned around at the sound of her voice, but his smile at seeing his girlfriend quickly turned around once he saw her face.

"What do you mean, babe?" he asked, actually unaware of what she could possibly be upset about.

"Whoever you told. I'm assuming it was more than one… probably all the guys on the basketball team, and whatever losers were hanging around you since it happened? Theresa asked me today how I enjoyed by sex on the beach."

He thought quickly, mentally darting for an escape, mentally trying to get that look off of her face.

"It must have been Brooke," he said, trying to sound confident even though he was actually quite a bit scared.

"It wasn't and we both know it. Damn it Nathan. You said you were different than every body else said you were. Shame on me for being stupid enough to believe that." She turned quickly and started to walk to her car, an emotional mixture of devastation and adrenaline. Part of her got off on being able to cut people out, being able to prove to herself that they would fail her.

He wasn't about to let her leave. Not like this. He had no form of righteous anger. All he wanted was for things to settle down. He wanted this to work out, and was willing to say anything, do anything to make it happen.

He followed her, quickly, and wrapped his arms around her waist, nuzzling his head into her neck. "I'm sorry Peyton. It was stupid."

She turned around quickly, facing him, and all she could said was "Damn it, Nathan," before he began kissing her.

It was an unfair move, she decided later. There was something about the chemistry between them that was unavoidable. That electrically charged kiss made her think that, perhaps, nothing else really mattered. So what if he told a few friends they had sex. This kiss made her feel like, for a little while, she connected to someone, if only on a physical level. Breaking up with him, ending the kiss, would be cutting off the only thing she really had to hold onto.

They kissed all the way to his bedroom and they were both partially undressed before they hit the bed. Neither of them would have admitted at that moment that this would become a pattern: passionate arguments followed by passionate sex.

Later, of course, it began to define their relationship.


	9. Stay Together for the Chemistry

Nathan Scott was pissed off.

It wasn't a strange feeling. He'd been angry for as long as he could remember, and half the time, he wasn't even sure why. He was pissed when he didn't make the shot. He was pissed when he did make it, and his dad didn't even seem impressed. He was pissed about not getting to play enough, or when coach never gave him a break. He was pissed when he saw his dad's bastard son, that Lucas, partially because he hated that there was someone else that was part of him, and partially because he was so damn jealous that that kid got to live without the constant pressure.

Today, however, he was pissed off at his girlfriend, Peyton Sawyer.

Nathan and Peyton rarely saw eye to eye. In fact, their worldviews were so far apart that the fact that he was always shocked when they managed to agree on anything. If he loved a song, she hated it, and he couldn't stand to listen to that bullshit she always played. "It makes her moody," he often thought.

Today, the issue at hand was how Peyton was getting to school.

It was trivial, and they both knew it, but somehow it had still escalated into a constant argument between them, and neither of them were willing to give in.

Nathan wanted to drive his girlfriend to school. He didn't see what was wrong with that, in fact, he told her, "There are plenty of girls who would be HAPPY to have me drive them to school in the mornings," he'd told her.

Peyton didn't miss a beat.

"Maybe you should drive them, then," she'd said, dryly.

For the first week of school, he'd won the argument. Peyton wasn't especially sentimental, but there was a point at which a girl couldn't refute natural charm, and Nathan had used it like a pro.

"I just want to get to drive to school with you, you know?" He'd said sweetly, "Plus, I want to be the first person you see in the mornings."

She'd rolled her eyes, but she let him, but things had quickly turned sour. Each day, Nathan got to his car, finding Peyton sitting on his hood (which he'd told her NUMEROUS times he didn't like), and each time she was more pissed off. She'd sit with her arms crossed over whichever band t-shirt she was wearing that day and it always took him the whole ride home to get her to even talk to him.

Yesterday it had taken him a particularly long time to get to the car (he'd stayed after a bit shooting with Tim in the gym), she hadn't waited. She'd written on a piece of paper, ripped from her notebook, "I'm not waiting for you anymore," and fastened it under his windshield.

He didn't call. He didn't challenge it. He just showed up the next day, honked, and waited for her. She didn't come down.

He knocked on the door. She didn't answer.

She'd already left for school, and now, he was waiting for her. "She probably planned it this way," he thought bitterly.

He pulled into the parking lot with obvious anger. Controlling his temper had never been something he was good at, and he had the foul record to prove it.

He screeched into the parking lot, slammed the car into park, and went to find her.

She was standing in the commons area, talking to Brooke and clutching that damn sketchbook. When he was a few feet away from her, he called her name, just loudly enough to make it clear that he was serious, but not loud enough to make a scene.

She turned around, and he saw her visibly brace herself for the argument. For a second he wanted to just pass it off like nothing had happened, pull her in for a hug and have a great day. What did it really matter how she got to school anyway? Sure, it was impatient of her not to wait for him, but was it really worth….

… and then she rolled her eyes.

She always did that when she was so damn sure she was right, and he was wrong, and he hated it.

She began the argument.

"So, you're still alive. Let me guess, you spent the night here. Are you just surprised I'm not still waiting by your car?"

"Shut up," he said, plainly. Sometimes he just didn't know what to say to her sarcasm.

She began to speak, but he cut her off.

"Fuck it, Peyton," he said, "I'm so sick of this bullshit."

"_You're_ sick of it?" she said, cocking her head to the side and taking a step towards him. "Listen, asshole, when I said I was sick of waiting for you, I didn't just mean after school. I'm sick of waiting for you to grow up and sick of waiting for you to stop acting like the jerk you said you weren't…. and, honestly, I'm sick of waiting for me to get fed up with it. Lets just get this disaster of a relationship over with."

He didn't know what to say.

They'd fought before, but this was the first time ending the relationship was put on the table, and it scared him. Half of him wanted to scream back, call her names, and walk away and never look back. But that other part knew, simply knew, that this couldn't be done. As much as he hated fighting with her, as much as he hated all this bullshit, he knew that trying to be without her now would be like trying to stop breathing, or stop playing basketball. No matter how much it might suck, you push through because you have to. It's necessary.

He wouldn't say something like that to her. It was cheesy, he knew, and letting her know how he really felt was just not going to happen.

"God, Peyton," he said, after what seemed like an eternity of silence. His voice wasn't angry, and it wasn't sad, it was just empty, as though he was wondering how they got there.

In one fast motion he reached forward, grabbing her by her waist and pulling her towards him, locking his eyes on her. They were silent, and it seemed like everything around them was still, despite the fact that the bell was ringing and students all around them was swarming into the building for class.

He was the first to speak.

"It's not over," he said. It wasn't a demand, and he wasn't pleading. He was just stating a fact.

She nodded. She knew it just as well as he did. This wasn't over, despite the fact that maybe, just maybe, they'd both be better off if it was.

The commons emptied, and then she kissed him.

It wasn't a sweet kiss, but it wasn't an angry kiss. It was a Hollywood kiss, the kind a couple has on the screen before the man goes off to battle. It was a first kiss, a last kiss: when their lips met, it was like electricity ran through their bodies.

It became clear: they were staying together for the chemistry.


	10. What Kind of Love?

"I'm not really into that "carve your initials into a tree trunk" type of teen-drama love," Peyton Sawyer said, throwing herself back on Nathan's bed as the sappy movie they'd rented (and only god knew why they'd chosen that one) ended. A part of her subconscious wanted to add "with you" to that, but she silenced it immediately. Yeah, maybe there was a romantic girl hidden under these layers, but Peyton wasn't about to let her out. Love hurt too much already. Letting her guard down could only make it worse.

Nathan wasn't about to let the moment go to waste. He clicked off the television with the remote and rolled on top of her, and grinned, "What kind of love _are_ you into, then?"

As always, a million thoughts flew through her mind at once. Nathan wasn't perfect, by any stretch. He "forgot" to call and he was often late, and even when he was there, it wasn't like he was bringing her flowers and chocolates. However, he was her drug, her addiction, and she wasn't sure she was ready for the withdrawals.

It wasn't as though they hadn't broken up before. They'd said the words, meaninglessly, "I'm through," more times than either of them could count. It never stuck. In fact, it rarely lasted more than a few hours, or a day at most. "Maybe we're just fucked up in the same way," Peyton often thought (or was it justified) to herself.

She blinked and brought herself back to the reality of her life.

She met his eyes and smiled, "I think we're both very clear on that one."

In one rapid movement she rolled him over, forcing her way on top. It was always a power struggle with them, in every element of their relationship. She moved her lips to his neck and kissed softly (at first), and then whispered into his ear, "I'm into the type of love where I get to go home and crash after the movie."

She smiled playfully, feeling as if she had won, and leapt off the bed, and started to collect her stuff.

Nathan, however, wasn't quite ready to lose the game.

In a second he was behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close to his body. He touched her neck with his lips.

She tried to pull away, for a minute. She hated giving up her power to him. All she really had going for her, one of her best ways to justify this relationship was her belief that she could always have the power, that she could always be in control. If Nathan decided to play basketball instead of showing up for some date they had planned, she'd ignore his calls for a couple days and avoid him at school. She didn't take his bullshit, or at least, not the amount he wanted her to.

He held onto her firmly. He was stronger and he knew that this was just another game to her. It only took a moment for her body to relax in his arms. "Nathan." she said, as though it was a complete thought. She knew that she could never explain to him how she could want him so much while at the same time wanting to get in her car, pull away, and be done with him, if only for tonight.

He didn't respond. He was already unbuttoning her pants and unhooking her bra. They worked like clockwork, but somehow, it was never boring.

She slept over.

Slept, however, was the wrong term. Nathan often fell asleep afterwards, but she would like awake in his bed in this big beautiful house and wonder if the path she was on led to where she wanted to go, and, for that matter, wondered where the hell she wanted to go.

She woke up in his arms and wondered how she got there. Sometimes Nathan surprised her with how sweet he really could be. He smiled at her, wordlessly, when he woke up, and for a minute she wished they could stay here forever. Perhaps nobody else would associate Nathan Scott with the word innocent, but sometimes, he really seemed that way to her.


	11. Sure

"Fuck you Nathan," Peyton said, rolling over in bed and pushing him away from her.

He hated when she got this way. At first he'd found the fact that she was a challenge to be entertaining, even charming, especially compared to the girls who threw themselves at him, but he hadn't expected to still be trying to win her over, now that they'd been dating for a whole summer, now that she was **his**.

In all fairness, she had been very clear about the rule, he just wasn't one to follow them, and she knew that.

After a few too many fights, she'd finally told him off. "You know what Nathan," she'd said, in that same bitter tone she reserved for when she was completely fed up, "if you want to go out on the weekends and play basketball and ignore me, that's just fine."

The first part had sounded good.

"…but if the first time I hear from you in a night is when you're showing up at my house trying to get laid, forget about it."

He wasn't sure if he had just not thought she was serious, or if he just thought he could get her to give in (resisting wasn't exactly her strong suit), but he'd waltzed into her room after a night of driving around town and drinking with some of the older guys on the team, and, to his surprise she had stuck by her word.

"Listen gorgeous," he said, rolling back over beside her and kissing her neck lightly, "can't you just forgive me? You know I love you."

For a second he felt her body relax, but she seemed to think better of it and tensed up immediately, climbing out of bed, flipping on the lights, and looking at him sternly.

"I was ASLEEP Nathan. You know when I wasn't asleep? A couple hours ago when I wanted to hang out with my boyfriend on a Friday night. You can't ignore my calls and then expect me to have sex with you when you finally show up. I'm not your wife and I'm not your hooker."

He didn't really know how to respond to this. From a rational point of view, she had a point, and he knew that, even if he'd never let on. Even though drunk, he took a deep breath, and decided that fighting with her probably wouldn't get him what he wanted.

"I'm sorry about that, Peyton. So, okay, you're right. But can I just sleep here with you?"

With this he got up and put his arms around her waist, "… can I just stay the night and cuddle with my beautiful girlfriend?"

Maybe she knew it was a line, maybe she didn't, but either way, Nathan knew he'd said the right thing, for once.

"Fine, Nate," she said, shutting the light back off, "but seriously… next time I'm going to throw your drunk ass out on the street."

He didn't say it, but all he was thinking was, "Sure."


End file.
